Affirmations 4.7.20

  • These long, chaotic days bring humility and gratitude. Not everyone gets a cosmopolitan quarantine with casual conference calls and mimosas at lunchtime. A good portion of the country is struggling to survive at this very moment, and it makes me feel humble and grateful for what I have.
  • Missing pieces are found. I haven’t been able to find much comfort in my normal routines and efforts. I was listening to some music last night on Youtube and found some great tunes in Spanish I hadn’t heard in a long time. In particular, I was listening to some bolero playlists and it led me to the Natalia Lafourcade Tiny Desk Concert. Suddenly I felt as if the heaviness left me for a moment. I got teary eyed just letting the music take over me and I remembered what it was like to be in Mexico as a kid, surrounded and kept busy by my cousins and family gatherings and playing games with the neighborhood kids out in the street. I miss my family so much. It’s hard to explain the gap one feels in their heart as a first generation American. You look to the distance every now and then, and you see the roots still sticking out of the ground on the lot down the street. And now you’re sitting in a new place, tending to your phantom roots, trying to remember what they felt like. My roots gave me strength to stand tall in hard times. I can’t let my memories go. It is beautiful history of family that belongs to me, no matter how far they are. These pieces aren’t missing. They just fall off the shelf of your heart and you have to pluck them from the floor and put them back where they belong.
  • When in doubt, build a fort. The last two weeks have been challenging at work. I’m very proud to be part of a team of essential employees that just want to help. It is taxing on the mind and body and soul. I want to help people, but there’s only so much I can do. I have lost sleep and had way too much comfort food + drink. Then just the other day, my son asked if we could build a fort. And so we did. It was an eraser to scribbles of fear and extreme anxiety. I’m doing a lot better now. I have my son to thank.

Stay safe, friends.


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